Secrets to Marital bliss:

After posting my love fest the other day, I feel the need to follow up.

My husband and I are FAR from perfect. We screw up and we get upset at each other just as much as everyone else. So what's the secret ingredient or technique to staying in love?

1. Communication. Talk to each other as a man or woman. Females tend to want men to read their minds. That is unfair! I’ve so done that and it got me nowhere. Men can’t read minds. You can’t expect them to know what to do or say. So tell him. He won’t be offended. He wants to make you feel better but doesn’t know how.

For example, the other day Dan heard me telling a story to someone on the phone that I didn’t tell him so he felt left out. He criticized me that I was not telling him stuff and that hurt my feelings. I didn’t intentional not tell him the story. I was hurt so I asked him to rephrase it. So dutifully he repeated “You didn’t tell me that story, why don’t you tell me now, I would love to hear it.” Of course he said it while rolling his eyes at me, but just hearing him say it meant so much and made me feel better and I continued with my story.

2. Anger management. Nothing is going to be accomplished when one of you are so angry you only see white heat. It’s just going to get ugly. Say that you need a moment and step into the other room or go for a walk. DO NOT drive. Driving while angry is the equivalent to driving intoxicated. You cannot make sound decisions while angry.

Dan usually goes outside and does yard work or cleans his car. I will walk to the bedroom, close the bathroom door and cry. After I cry, I feel I can focus more on the issue at hand. Maybe Dan cries when he mows the lawn too but I doubt it. Heh heh. That would be a funny scene to see a grown man crying as he’s cutting the lawn.

3. Fight Fair. No name calling. It’s just mean and it doesn’t accomplish anything. Also, no underhanded insults or guilt. It will cause the other person to shut down or fight back. If you can’t do this, go for a walk and calm down. Maybe you are still heated. Talking while heated will not work.

4. Divorce is never an option. This is a personal one that Dan and I stick to. As soon as we made plans to get married, divorce was never an option for us. We made plans to be together all the way till we are old, wrinkled and got the walking farts.

Overall, if you’ve got communication down, I bet you are on your way to a happy relationship.